Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Match Meeting

I have forgotten how emotionally intense and emotionally draining a match meeting is.  You go into it with great anticipation and excitement and face the reality that this is one of the most difficult decisions a parent will probably have to make in their lives for their child.  You grieve for their potential loss and the pain they are experiencing.  You hurt for their hearts.  You wonder how they even had the strength to show up to meet you.  You wonder what they thought of you.  My husband and I hope that this young woman and her mother left feeling like all their questions were answered.  We hope they felt supported and loved by us.  We hope we have helped them to know in their hearts what their decision will be--even if it isn't to place her baby with us.  We do truly believe that God brings people into our lives for a reason.  He felt they needed us (or we needed them) and that we needed to meet.  Even though this will be our third child, the process has not been any easier (except for maybe the wait for the match meeting).  It still is as emotionally intense as I remember when me met Jakob's birthmom and her mother for the first time.  (We didn't have a match meeting with Jada's birthmom--she just chose us and we came and picked up Jada--that was "easy"--so to speak.)  We have no idea what to expect--none--nada--zippo.  I pray that she feels at peace with whatever decision she makes and that we will always be here to support her, no matter what.  She really is amazing--really!

We have been talking about our match meeting with the kids.  We said we were going to meet with someone like Kaiti and Carmen who wanted to find a family for their baby and that she wanted to meet us to see if she wanted her baby to come to our family.  Evidently Jakob thought we were bringing a baby home and was severely disappointed when we got home.  He asked where the baby was.  The look on his face was so heart breaking.  I really didn't think he was processing what we were saying to that level.  He surprises me every day.  It is just a reminder how important it is to keep talking about our children's adoption stories to them.  They are listening and they want to know.  It was a treat to actually have Kaiti be able to watch Jakob and Jada while we were at our match meeting.  The kids love her to death!!!  Oh, we are so blessed already it is impossible to think that it could really happen again.  It's in God's hands!


...sensible of shoe said...

I know, as happy as we are to become a family, the loss and grief on the other side is so difficult... it's impossible not to feel guilt and sadness at the same time. Prayers all around!

Sabrina said...

I can't imagine how tough those match meetings are. I will be praying for this young woman. And of course you guys, your home will just keep growing and growing! :)

Scott, Joanna, Matthew said...

So happy that it went well! I will be praying for your family and for her! I remember the pain that I felt and still do feel for Matthew's birthmom and birthfather.