Open Adoption Round Table #29

"The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be listed at Open Adoption Bloggers to participate or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points--please feel free to adapt or expand on them."

I don't write with the prompts very often...I am not a gifted writer, per say, and always feel like I can't get my feelings accurately portrayed with my writing--well that and the simple fact that blogging is not my first priority even though I wish I had more time to do it.

Here's the Open Adoption Round Table #29

"I thought it could be fun to do an open mic style roundtable. Our group is growing and a lot of us haven't "met" each other yet.  So point us to a favorite post on your blog. It doesn't even need to be about adoption. And tell us a little bit about why you picked the one you did."

This should have been an easy one...just go through and find my favorite post. Whoa, time, life, and all of that kind of got in the way.  As I started to aimlessly look through my past posts, I stumbled upon this post written while we were in the process of waiting to be chosen to adopt our second child. It reminded me so much of where we were, how far we have come, and how much further we have to go. Open adoption is an ever evolving process and I hope anyone involved in any situation continues to have hope and never gives up when things are not going as they thought they should be. This post made me cry--even 3 years after the fact.  I'm sure there's another one I might love more, but this was the start of my foundation.  My reminder of my life with three adopted children--all open adoptions--all completely different--all in my heart each and every single day, every minute, every hour.  Wishing that things didn't always need to be so complicated, so confusing, and so far from simple--and perfect. 

My Wish For You

Don't forget to click the  OPEN ADOPTION ROUNDTABLE #29 link to read more of everyone's favorite and heart moving posts!

Kindergarten!

Today was my son's first official day of kindergarten.  He has been quite intrigued with school and riding the bus to get to school, although last week he did mention that he was a little bit scared to ride the bus by himself.  He is my first of three children going off to kindergarten--so it has been equally emotionally interesting for me too.   It has been a long year of great accomplishments for him.  (He jumps into a pool now after being terrified of the water.  He has been in gymnastics and has advanced to the next group,  I am really behind on posts....) Did I mention that this was the first time he went somewhere on a bus without either Craig or me being with him?  He was tested last year (and the year before and the year before that with emerging scores putting him on the border for qualifying for help) for a multitude of delays.  Jakob is developmentally delayed in his motor skills, receptive language, expressive language, and has sensory sensitivities--so it didn't surprise me when one of the first things he told me about school was that the bell was very loud, and that he heard the storm whistles blowing, and that there was a boy who was taller than "Nate", a very tall friend of his from preschool last year--I was amazed he remembered Nate's name since they have moved and we haven't seen them since school let out last year.  I was happy he didn't bite anyone at school--since he bit his sister twice before going (probably anxious) and even happier that the teacher remembered to just tell him to go to the bathroom rather than wait for him to ask.  (He wet his pants the first three classes of preschool last year because he was afraid to go.  He still tells us he is going to go while at home!)  I was amazed that he remembered his room number and his teacher's name!  He also said there were no other kids named Jakob in his class, but that there was a Jada!  I think the girl's name is actually Jade, but he remembered a name!   We got a new pair of shoes for him yesterday that light up and I think that helped him make it through day.  All these little things that I would have taken for granted.   I decided to take some photos before lunch since I didn't want anything to feel rushed and I'm so happy I did.  Before we went outside to wait for the bus I just rocked him one more time--and maybe cried a little--okay, maybe a lot--and he just smiled at me.  And Jada said it would be okay.  The kids ran around outside and then the bus came, I gave him a hug and a kiss, we crossed the street, I took a couple of photos, he got on the bus and sat down, and just like that, he was off to school.  And then, Jada freaked out.  She started wailing, "He's gone, he's gone, he's gone."  Crying and screaming and wanting to tell him something.  My poor poor Jada. I kept telling her that he was coming back after school was over.  I think she may have thought that he was gone forever.   Both girls were able to actually fall asleep and take a little nap.  Good for all of our souls after an emotionally rough morning.  We all walked to pick up Jakob at the bus stop.  The driver almost left without letting the kinder kids off the bus!  I said give me a thumbs up if you liked it--no thumbs up.  haha!  He said he had fun playing with the kids.   When we got back to the house, he went straight for his NUNU and the thumb went in the mouth.  We were going to go out to dinner to celebrate and he asked if dad could just go pick up food and eat at home.  Lots of decompression needed.  We got outside for a little while but spent most the night vegging out to a movie.  I peeked in on him in bed and he looked like he was going to cry.  I asked him what was wrong and he said he loved me.  He said he liked being with me.  And then asked if he had to go back to school tomorrow.  I said, "yes, but it's just for part of the day."  He said, "It was a very long time today."  I am so happy that he is expressing his feelings more--verbally.  I am so happy we are only 1/2 day kindergarten in the afternoon so we don't have to stress and rush around in the morning.  We'll see how tomorrow goes....I'm happy it's a short school week!  I am so proud of his accomplishments.  He is small, he is quiet (at least when he is not at home), he is a kid who tries as hard as he can, he is smart.  He may not be able to express himself like other kids his age, but I feel like I know just what he needs and when he needs it.  I will continue to encourage him with all of his new adventures and try to challenge him without pushing him too far too quickly.  And let him be Jakob.  And let him suck his thumb at home.  And let him wear his light up shoes all night, on the couch.  Did I forget to mention that his choice of take out food was McDonald's?  The kid ate a cheeseburger and three chicken nuggets for dinner.  If you knew Jakob, you would know he must have been hungry!  That's like a whole day's intake for him--and he usually doesn't eat meat!  He will probably be sick tomorrow!

 :0)  Maybe I will have more time to blog if the girls nap while Jakob is in school.  You know, cause getting the house clean and organized seems kind of daunting........

 Capturing all their personalities. 

 One of my favorites!  Little Jenay is not so little anymore!

 Jada could not stand still for even one second.  I think her anxiety for Jakob leaving was at an all time high!

 Waiting for the bus!

 And just like that, he was off to school!

Happy Birthday Jada!

My little miss Jada turned three this weekend.  I can hardly believe it!  We've chosen not to have big birthday parties at this point.  Our kids seem to enjoy the quiet chaos of our little family of five.  Time to ponder each gift and really play with the toys.  We had a super fun and busy day....first gymnastics, then the LIFEFEST festival held at a friend's church.  Super cool bounce houses, free games and food!  Perfect for a birthday!  Then we headed home, out of the 100 degree day in into the air conditioning right about melt down time.  Jada took a much needed nap and so did daddy.  Then we made home made pizzas for dinner--ate some cake and opened more presents.  The kids did well together with sharing for the most part.  While they were playing with the ponies, my son was talking and says, "They adopted another baby."--and then he neighs like a horse.  Adoption even changes how my kids play.

Jada does not like going to bed and begs for me to sleep with her.  Being that it was her birthday I crawled right in.  We were having girl talk....well, I was actually just listening to her talk because she always has amazing things to say.  She went on about how there were two people in our family with brown skin and three people in our family with peach skin.  And then she asked me if she was three now, and how old was I (of course I answered honestly), and how old is dad, and how old is Jenay, and how old is Jakob?  I asked her what her favorite part of her birthday was and she said, "cake!"  And she asks me if I'm her only mom.  I say, "No, Carmen is your birthmom, you grew in her tummy."  Jada says, "Oh, Carmen ate me when I was really little?"  "I wonder what kind of food I was with."  She certainly is a hoot!  I said, "Well, actually, you grew in her uterus and not her tummy."  Jada asks, "What is a uterus?"  I thought to myself--we are not going there tonight.  haha!  For now, talking about adoption with my kids is WAY easier than trying to explain the actual process of how babies are made.  We haven't even gotten into female body parts yet.  I am so thankful that we have all three kids' birthmommas in our lives!  Whew!  I know things will probably get more complicated--but maybe not--since it is just our life.  Simple chaos--totally!

You will probably rarely find me in any photos anymore.  I received a really nice camera for our anniversary and am learning how to use it--therefore, nobody else will probably ever be able to snap photos of me!  haha!  I don't mind being a behind the scenes mom.  I am a home body who loves spending time with her children and certainly don't need to be in the spotlight.  I have so much to catch up with on my blog....sorry about my lack of posts.  AND lack of posts that are about us!  It has been a crazy busy fun and wonderful summer so far and I'm trying not to waste a minute of it before school starts!  Ahhhhh, kindergarten, that's a whole post of it's own.  My blessings are incredible!!!

Hot Hot Hot

It is so hot outside...and I am a winter girl.  Tonight, Jakob and Jada went outside to play for a short stint.  As they walked out the deck door, hubsters told them not to get soaking wet.  HA!  They ventured out to the uncovered sandboxes.  I think there is more water in there than sand.  We got some MAJOR jungle style rain on Saturday.  First, Jada was 'stirring' the water, then she got in, then Jakob followed, then they were dancing, then they were sitting in the water, then they were laying in it (remember, there is sand in there too), then their white clothes were brown from the dirty water, then they took their shirts off, then their shorts, then the diaper and underwear came off.  It was funny--until you remember we have people in the neighborhood who I certainly don't want to catch a glimpse of my children in the buff.....then I went out to tell them to come in, and THEN, they started running around the yard so I couldn't catch them.  It was the most hilarious thing ever, but I couldn't laugh, and I couldn't take pictures, but all I could do was think how awesome it is that they are having such a fun summer and that I can't wait until Jenay is out their running with them and I hope and pray they are all the best of friends forever.  Childhood innocence....I hope we can hang onto that for a very long time! 

3 Peas Photography and Celebrating Adoption

If you didn't know, there is a program out there called Celebrating Adoption.  Briefly, it is a program where a photographer is willing to donate their time and talent to offer a family that has adopted a free photo session and in our case, we also get 15 free 4x6's and then 15% off anything else we order.  I'm not sure if all the photographers are current on the list link but we used Amy from 3 Peas Photography--twice--when we adopted Jada and then again with Jenay.  She is simply an AMAZING photographer and has been incredibly generous to our family.  If you click on the 3 Peas link, it will take you directly to the sneak peek of our photo session.  Absolutely incredible!  It is going to be difficult to choose, but she is worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY!  Thanks Amy!  You will have to visit her site to see our gorgeous babes!  She is also on facebook.....Enjoy!

Gift of Adoption

Here are a few lives that Gift of Adoption has truly made a difference in the past year. These are awesome stories and hopefully you will be inspired to give to this charity that truly helps to change lives. I should know, they've made a HUGE difference in ours! We are truly blessed!

Dark Girls

I have a lot to learn.  I came across this AMAZING documentary that is being created right now.  Being the mother of two brown babies after growing up in a white privileged world makes me really really really naive about racial issues.  I want to believe that the world is changing for the better....I hope to be a part of that change.  Here is a link to a preview of the Dark Girls documentary.  They are in need of funding to continue filming.  If you feel compelled to donate--you can click the link on the right hand side of my blog.


Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

You can also help create awareness too!  Head on over to DARK GIRLS on facebook and give them a little love!  

And if you are curious where I got my fabulous connection....head on over to MY BROWN BABY!  You will not be disappointed!!  Thanks Denene for all your time and kind hearted support answering all those questions that every white momma is afraid to ask!  You are very much appreciated!